Unless you have been off-grid lately you will be aware of the viral #metoo campaign in which women have spoken up about the magnitude of the problem of sexual abuse and harassment.
In today’s Curiously You Podcast, we are having a conversation with guest Annabelle Dura, who speaks candidly about her own unseen scars. We discuss how we can use our most painful experiences to leverage ourselves powerfully into a life of deep meaning and purpose, whilst approaching it all from a place of love, and finding the space and courage within ourselves to be vulnerable.
Annabelle is a freelancer writer living in Los Angeles who works on the ambassador program at “Live A Great Story.” She is the author of “Into The Darkness”, and an energetic advocate for issues that impact women and girls. We dive with an inquisitive nature into the healing process beyond trauma, learning to trust and be vulnerable once again, but still maintaining a level of discernment, and finding strength in a divine support, which is larger than you alone.
You’ll love this episode if: - you would like to learn how to be empowered and lead from your vulnerability; - you have experienced sexual abuse, harassment, or a violation of some kind and want to find a way to heal, and turn this pain into your power.
Time Stamped Notes
05:05 From a young age, Annabelle has always asked questions: feeling and thinking far deeper than those around her. She was hired at “Live a Great Story,” when a mutual friend introduced her to the founder, Zac. From there, Annabelle was assigned to build the ambassador program at Live a Great Story.
The intention was to build structure for people to be in community with each other and encourage vulnerability in a safe space. This has been something Annabelle has always wanted to do but never had the platform or direction to do so.
09:08 One of the things Annabelle learned on her vulnerability journey is to lead by example and follow Gandhi’s quote: “be the change you want to see in the world.”
In her freshman year of college, Annabelle experienced a traumatic event where she was raped by her boyfriend at the time. This triggered a soul-searching journey as Annabelle began to lose sense of who she was, and entered a deep depression. Whilst navigating through this darkness and feeling vulnerable, she surrounded herself with friends who stood by her to remind her that she was loved.
As a person who naturally depends on self-awareness and moral code, she found that after the rape, she was forced to reevaluate and make sense of her values. She had to learn and understand what it meant to be vulnerable whilst also simultaneously guarding your heart. There is a balance and a time and a place for things and through the whole journey, she has realized how much one’s own vulnerability will affect others, depending where they are on their journey.
13:47 Annabelle learned to be comfortable with the exploration of vulnerability. She realised that mistakes aren’t awful because of what these experiences teach you. When you are going through such pain you learn the importance of shifting your behavioural patterns, and becoming your own best friend.
She was in therapy until she finished college because she loved it, however it came to a point when her therapist said that it might be helpful to be on medication, which Annabelle wanted as a last resort. Terrified by that reality, she saw a beam of light in her imagined visual space which triggered her wanting to try church before turning to medicine.
23:12 Understanding how to be vulnerable has led her to success. There was a realisation that she needed to accept love in her life and that something bigger was there for her. Annabelle learned how to be kind to people, and that humanity is all born with the desire to be loved to love. Society makes it really hard to surrender to that idea of just being worthy of that love.
26:32 A key to being empowered in vulnerability is to have a pretty solid ground to combat what society is going to tell you. You need a foundation on what your truth is. For Annabelle, it would be the same truths that are found in the bible. You need to start with what are your non-negotiable truths.
29:14 After feeling so lost and not knowing what to do, she trusted that if she worked to pursue her purpose with her passion, the energy that was created within her will be there to support her. It’s a matter of working with where you are, and believing that your will be called to your purpose.
31:37 When it comes to deciding what projects or passions to pursue, Annabelle has a habit of saying yes to things. She has a desire to learn new things, in different situations, to see how it goes. She also gives tasks a time-frame, which allows her to narrow down her focus.
She has accepted her trauma and how it has shaped her, and influenced her work and the creative efforts that she is putting out into the world.
Creating her book was a surprise, as it is now proof to Annabelle that something powerful and beautiful can be born from something so horrific. She created this space in her mind to be willing to accept the idea that came to her, and it was encouraged and supported by the universe.
After just being in a therapist’s room for quite some time, you learn how to speak and to enquire about things with others. She’s learned how to cope with different behaviors by being able to mentor people on a deep level, allowing her to pin point patterns of behavior.
38:48 It’s very damaging to go through a dark experience and not allow it to shape you; you’ll hear the phrase “owning your story,” and not letting it define you. Who she is now outshines that very dark moment in her life. She has also learnt that healing is definitely not a linear thing and that sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward. There are 7 stages of grieving, and you go to where you need to. No matter what you label it, being in the process, you are still moving forward.
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